Near Death: Facing the possibility of death
Words–
Nat Woods
@nat.woods_
Muses–
Kate Cliff, Vedic Meditation Teacher
@katecliffmeditation
Charlotte Clark, Owner of Charlotte’s Parlour
@charlottesparlour
Photo–
Via @katecliffmeditation
The events of our lives leave an indelible mark on who we are — inspiring a different direction, new philosophies and changed priorities. The smallest things can pivot us in ways we couldn’t have ever predicted. So, what kind of transformation does one experience when they face their own mortality head on?
Kate Cliff and Charlotte Clark were kind enough to share their near death experiences with us, and what life has been like for them ever since.
Can you briefly share your near death experience with us?
Kate: I wasn’t getting the message, so there’s been a few! The first time I was 18. The second time 19. Then 24. Then the fourth time I was 26. I was a pedestrian on a pedestrian crossing and a taxi came around a corner and wiped me out. I got hit through my left side initially and thrown onto the bonnet through my front. He didn’t stop for quite a while, so I was riding along the bonnet screaming for him to stop. When he finally did, I was thrown through the air like a rag doll. Onlookers, and by this point there were many, thought that was it for me. No chance of either surviving the initial impact of the car or my skull connecting with the road. But my handbag landed on the ground and my head landed on it “like a pillow” onlookers would later report.
Charlotte: Growing up in Tassie you often head to the coast for the weekend, enjoying the outdoors, relaxing and having a great time. But for me, this particular weekend did not end in the usual way. On the way back home I was in a serious car accident. We hit a tree, and I was left broken. I had extensive multiple injuries, both of my lungs collapsed, my face was smashed, my neck fractured, my back fractured in three places and my right foot was crushed. I have no memory of the accident, being trapped in the car or the screaming I did moments after the crash. The accident left me in an induced coma. I woke in hospital, lying flat on my back for three and a half months straight, not moving during my recovery.
There are so many different beliefs around life and death in the world – from reincarnation, to heaven, to soul lives, and more – what is your belief of life and death? And has it changed since your experience?
K: I have memories from each of those experiences that have connected me into the fact that I am not my body – that rather I am a soul, or consciousness, having a bodily experience. I remember every bit of that car accident and I experienced it as if as a witness watching it happen to someone else. I was raised as an atheist, and that nothing happened for a reason. None of that ever fitted for me, and from a very young age I was constantly searching for there to be something bigger than just me, some purpose to it all. Whilst I wouldn’t wish the life experiences I’ve had upon anyone else, I’m so thankful for them. There was absolutely purpose in them for me, they did happen for a reason, and they’ve shaped the person I am, informed my worldview and the way I live my life.
C: I believe that when you die, that’s it. Game over. Thinking we carry on is cotton wool on reality but a nice thought. I survived because two minutes after my accident, on a dusty country road, people stopped to help, and by luck, they had just completed their Senior First Aid Course. They saved my life. Death is the end of our life on earth but not your life in the hearts and minds of those left behind. In a way, I am happy to have experienced something so traumatic. I was blessed with an amazing family that supported me constantly and the accident made me a better person, community-minded, more empathetic and joyful with a strong sense to help whenever I can and I hope to be remembered for that.
Do you think our society talks about death enough?
K: I don’t think we talk about it enough at all. I think that comes down to the fact that as a society, generally speaking, we are floating around on the surface. Most of the “hard topics” are no-go zones. If you don’t want to think about your own mortality, and whether you’re living your life in a way that, should it be your time to go, you’d be happy with the way that you’ve lived your life up until that point, then you’re going to want to steer clear of that topic. But turning our mind to the fact that we are going to die can really inform the way that we live.
C: No. Death seems to be a shrouded topic for the living. Death is a place where we are all going to go when we have to. Ideally, we would be talking about it freely, making plans. It’s the final holiday and good holidays take planning! After my experience, I realised I had nothing in place, but I do now and will leave this world when the time comes, with confidence that my end is not a burden to my family and friends during a time of great sadness.
Kate: “I have memories from each of those experiences that have connected me into the fact that I am not my body—that rather I am a soul, or consciousness, having a bodily experience.”
Charlotte: “Life is what you make it, for good, bad or indifferent. You are here. The meaning is within you. Live your life to the fullest. In this world, you only get one shot. Make it happen!”
What do you think the meaning of life is?
K: To find meaning in life, I went into law to help people and make a difference. About 13 months after I got hit by that car, I was in excruciating pain, I could barely eat or sleep, I had really severe post traumatic stress disorder and the painkillers I’d been on were causing internal damage to my body. So I finally took the advice of many, and learnt to meditate. It completely changed my life in every way. I’d been in pain management centres and physical rehabilitation clinics with people in more pain and worse situations than what I was in, and I wanted that for them too. So I spent a year studying to teach meditation so that I could share what I had in my life with others. I graduated from India and got back to Australia and three days later I’d taught two people to meditate and by the end of the week I’d taught a third. I felt like I had contributed more in the space of that week than I had in my whole lifetime up until that point. I felt like if that was it for me and it was my time to go, then I’d be happy with that being my contribution to the world in this lifetime.
C: Life is what you make it, for good, bad or indifferent. You are here. The meaning is within you. Live your life to the fullest. In this world, you only get one shot. Make it happen!
How has your experience changed your day to day life?
K: Initially when I was hit by that car I was angry. I’d done near death before, I could do it again. Life was tough, but I was tougher. Then someone very dear to me had an accident that took his life. I was hating the world even more. He was a real light human, and I felt it was so unfair. Then I realised actually, I’d been given an opportunity. His accident went one way, mine went another. I knew that if he had the opportunity that I’d been given he’d live every day to the fullest. So I made a pact with him that I’d live every day of my life fully for the both of us.
C: My accident was a full stop to the life I led before. The accident changed me. It changed both my state of mind and my physical body. Now people love my dimple, not knowing it came about from smashing my face into the dashboard. Sometimes I try to deflect people’s interest into why I walk the way I do and in the dead of night my pain is the worst, but people don’t see that and I don’t want them to.
If you could pass on one lesson from your experience, what would it be?
K: Live life fully now! Life is long, but days and nights are irreversibly passing. There’s never going to be another day like today again. So did you do today justice?
C: Through adversity, you can evolve. It just takes time. Just enjoy the experience of living because life as you know it can be gone in a bang!
Originally published in Paradiso Issue 10